Goodbye, 2013

You know how people can recall any year when referring to a certain situation?

Like, remember when Lucy broke her arm? It was 1974, and I got my first car....

Or, It was 1967 and we took our first vacation to the Grand Canyon.

???

Not me. It's impressive that I remember the year of my birth. 

I think that it's because my mind doesn't see things in black and white. 

More like colors and shapes. 

All of that changed in 2013. 

What I experienced with my brother's passing was very black and white. 

The phone call. 

The conversation with my dad. 

The flight home. 

The wake. 

The funeral. 

It plays through my mind like a broken record, which surprisingly hasn't stopped playing. 

Dont' get my wrong. There were incredible moments in 2013, too. 

I was awarded Top 40 Under 40 in Memphis. 

I ran like a champ 7 months into my pregnancy. 

I birthed a baby the exact way that I wanted to. 

I watched my toddler bloom into an incredibly imaginative boy.

All of these are noteworthy, 

but chances are I won't remember that they happened in 2013. 

(And don't think that my child's birth counts - I mix up Gray's birth year AND day all the time. Not kidding.)

My personality is fueled with optimism, and I know it will get it back. 

2014 is going to be my year. 

A year dedicated to the betterment of the lives around me, which will in turn better my own. 

2014 will be a year of dedication. 

I'm not sure how or why I haven't been able to fundraise quite like I did two years ago, but I will dedicate myself to finding the remedy. Disability awareness is so important to me, and I'll see to it that people become aware and join me.

2014 will be a year of motivation. 

I can't think of any more motivating event than that of training for a marathon. The amount of people who have called my running an inspiration to begin themselves is overwhelming. 

I love it and hope I can reach more people.

2014 will be a year of loving. 

Is there anything more contagious?

2014 will be a year of celebrating my brother's life, and not mourning it. 

Each mile I run will absolutely involve thinking about him and the life he lived. But from now on, the focus will be how I can take the lessons I learned from him on strength and persistence and pass them onto others. 

Yes, 2014 will be a good year. 

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